I work hard to be a good mom to my kids. Being with them almost all day, every day, without a lot of breaks and being responsible for their schooling can sometimes feel like too much. I keep myself afloat by always questioning myself, seeking answers and new parenting and homeschooling techniques in studies, books and articles. My good behavior is what I want my children to model.
Even so, I make mistakes and display less than desirable behavior when pushed to my limits. For example, I had yelled at my son the day before during one of our homeschooling activities and felt awful about it as soon as I finished. Today I read a 2009 article in the New York Times titled ‘For Some Parents, Shouting is the New Spanking'(http://www.nytimes.com/2009/10/22/fashion/22yell.html). As I read, I shriveled up inside with shame at the loud voice I had used the day before, a classic reaction according to the article.
Though I only yell once in a blue moon, it can still have very negative effect on the child. Studies show when children are yelled at in anger, they perceive it as rejection. The part of the article that really brought it home though was when it asks the reader to imagine someone yelling at he or she like that at work. Something like that would probably make me feel badly for days and I would have a very hard time concentrating. It really showed me what my yelling must do to my child. It doesn’t help him retain information better. If anything, it probably has the opposite effect.
I want to take it back but alas, all I can do is show restraint next time. I need to remember yelling is counterproductive to his learning and it’s damaging to his self esteem.
Article By Nuria Almeida
Picture By woodleywonderworks